Disturb who? ...pssh

Am I the only one who takes issue with persons playing the radios/music files on their phones out loud in public places?  What makes it worse, the music is often rather distasteful and even often offensive.  When I complain I come off as being the miserable lady.

Very recently I sat in the waiting room of one of the local hospitals and there was a man playing his music quite loudly.  I was rather appalled that no one from hospital staff came and told him to shut the damned thing off (but then this is the same place that has signs asking people to put their phones on "silent" but after several trips there I'm convinced I may be the only one).  At first I thought the man's phone was merely ringing but when it continued then went to another song, I shockingly realised the man was playing his personal music... out loud!  This time however the music was religious and not offensive, but nevertheless disrupting my peace.  I told the gentleman very politely that his music was a little too loud and I'd like him to turn it down.  He complied, but not after giving me the how dare you stare.  What struck me further was this man had headphones around his neck!  I'm going to take it for granted that those headphones had stopped working.

More public buses are being fitted with sound systems and music is  blasted from them.  Isn't there a law against that?  I've often blushed with embarrassment at some of the lyrical content being spewed at me; but whether offensive or not the fact is on public transport I should have the right to quiet and if I decide to listen to music I should wear headphones and not force everyone to endure my music choices.  The operative word of course is should for in most cases it's to hell with what I want to think about or the fact that I just want to sleep.  This jolts another memory of me taking a four hour bus ride on one service and the driver ignoring my repeated request to turn the music down.  Lucky for me, one speaker was situated almost immediately above my head which made my intention to sleep !muy imposible!  I am elated when I get on a public bus in which the radio has mal-functioned and it is often amusing to hear some fellow passengers complain of how boring the bus ride is :-)

My exercise route  is a very popular one and though I once exercised while listening to music (plugged into my ears via my headphones)  I've grown to prefer the music of my own thoughts.  That has been disturbed as I've seen/heard many persons along the trek with their music being played out loud and they have no headphones!  Are we all going mad?  My once tranquil exercise/nature walk now sounds like someone is rapidly changing the stations of a radio as different sounds are coming from these different phones.  I now have to wear headphones to keep the noise out; but is that fair to me?  Why should they have more liberties to the use of public space than I do?

Royal Caribbean cruise line has come up with the idea of silent parties which is grossly ironic since you choose to go to a party and expect to hear loud music of various kinds.  Their rationale is that sometimes a patron may dislike what it is being played at a particular moment and to combat that patrons get headphones and have the liberty to change the music/DJ as they dance.  Talk about ingenuity!  Now if only their planning/marketing people can have a sit down with Joe Public.

Sure Women Are Worse Drivers...

...That's why they have fewer accidents, kill less people (including themselves) or visit the body repair section of the mechanic shops less frequently...

 

Maybe twenty years ago or more when women started learning to drive later than men or because they were a minority and somebody needed to be the butt of "bad driver" jokes or even just because society suggested that the men do all the driving, women might have been thought of as worse drivers.  Statistics (and insurance companies) will prove however that coming a close second to the world is flat lie, nothing is now further from the truth.  I will even dare say that one will find men who are equally bad drivers. 

Yeah I said it it!

Stereotypes are a heck of a thing and one would be surprised as to how much they influence our thinking and even how we socialise our children.  Boys go pick up the trash/leaves out in the yard while girls clean up inside; boys watch daddy and learn to change a flat, while girls watch mommy and learn to cook; boys go wash the car and girls go do the laundry...

Naturally these are mere stereotypes and some families are sensible enough to allow their kids to learn balanced duties while some, because of their make up, are forced into teaching the balance.  I believe however that 21st century families are doing a better job than their predecessors, which brings me back to my point that women are no worse drivers than men.

I know I have been guilty of these stereotypes too.  Every time I see a driver do something unnecessarily risky/foolish or bully another motorist I immediately think "that must be a man" or if I see someone being unnecessarily cautious I think "that must be a woman" and I'm usually very surprised if my supposition is wrong.  That reality solidifies my point that men and women are equally good/bad drivers and any other thought is a dated stereotype.  That's why you have female drivers in the Indy 500 and men whose speedometer scarcely goes over 70km/hour (even when nothing's wrong with their vehicle), women who are mechanics and men who'd be lost if it wasn't for the picture showing where wiper fluid should be poured. 

I know some people who would be quick to say that because of sheer numbers in their road presence men would seem to have more accidents; but if we start talking percentages men would still have more accidents, and if we worked off accidents alone men would earn the worse drivers award.  Bad driving however includes more than just accidents: it includes poor use of the road, not seeming to know the size of the vehicle being driven and as such not making proper judgements re passing/parking, not obeying speed limits or road signs/signals, being discourteous to other road users, ignorance of road codes... and the list continues. 

Driving entails more than moving a vehicle from Point A to Point B and because of this we have a tie.  In 2012 I don't think women are any worse at driving than are men...

... but that's just my opinion.

Train 'em up!

Kudos to Rev. Dr. Eral Lewis who this past Sunday, May 27, 2012, was special guest speaker at Windsor-Castle-Independent-Baptist-Church's annual Family Day.  As he spoke I was riveted by his words (wish WCBC did the whole taping of sermons thing because I'd have loved to hear that one again) but I thought to myself that in 20 years (or maybe even less) our free world is going to censor such talk and perhaps label him as one inciting whatever they come up with.  Isn't it funny that if one takes a Biblical stance against anything you are labelled as "old-fashioned", "bigoted", "narrow-minded", among other things; and one is only free to express views that line up with what is currently socially popular?  Still, I must not allow myself to become perturbed by this because the Bible prophesied that this would happen... but I digress. 

The goodly Reverend's sermon was focused on the command given to God's people in Deuteronomy 6:5-9 and how important it is for us to apply that command to our modern families if we hope to leave a godly heritage. 

"Digest the Word of God deeply, Declare the Word of God diligently and map your Direction (decision making) by the Word of God".  We wonder why families are dying yet we ignore the prerequisites that God, the maker of families, established.  It's like people ignoring the Surgeon General's warning and then wondering why they get lung cancer. 

I big up Derek and Joan everyday for modelling the whole godly approach.  Growing up I hated it 100% but they still used the rod of correction and taught the Word diligently.  I have become wise enough to look back and thank God they believed in training the child in the way to go.

As we come to the close of May (celebrated in Jamaica as Child's Month) I hope that the local watch groups for the preservation of the rights of the child get the twist out of their undies and realise that endangering the welfare of a child includes refusing to punish them for inappropriate behaviour.  Albeit abuse is real and the full extent of the law should be meted out on those who practise such, we are often too quick to jump on that waggon that seems to be travelling in the direction that gives children (who by virtue of sheer youth and inexperience often don't know what's good for them) the liberties that we older folk earned because we've lived long enough.  My dad prefaced my beatings with "I'm beating you because I love you" as he got out his special beating ruler.  All my beatings further included a five minute sit-down explaining why a particular beating was necessary.  Strangely I remember those frequent pre-beating counselling sessions and I am here to shout that I am a better woman for it!

Let me quickly add that beating is not the only form of punishment neither is it appropriate for every infraction, I can immediately identify some people whom I know so-so beating neva work pan (merely beating them proved ineffective), especially if that beating was spur of the moment, irrationally thrown blows.  My point is children need the whole package.  They need to know they are loved, so as you correct them you must also play with them, reward them, talk to them...

They'll love you for it tomorrow.

Fear What?....Fear Not!

It's been said that  fear is irrational and on many levels I believe it is.  I have two people who are close to me who are ridiculously (my view) afraid of cockroaches and lizards.  Surely these creatures will gross you out, but the ones that are often seen running in the houses in Jamaica and The Bahamas are fortunately not poisonous, still my loved ones are fearful to the point of hyperventilation.  If we are truly honest with ourselves however, every person has that something that makes him/her shudder; but what do we do when that fear crawls in?  To that person who is afraid the rationale behind their phobia is very real...if only to them.  Most cannot articulate the specific reason for this feeling, they only know it's there and that they can't seem to shake it.

I recently decided to do some introspection in order to identify some of my fears so that I could work at overcoming them, that's the way to beat 'em right?  Face 'em.  My approach however took a spiritual spin to it.  I've realised that some will be more easily beaten than others but that hasn't quelled my desire to tackle them.  I also recently read an article about a woman who gave in to her fear of remaining childless.  It immediately brought me in remembrance of Abraham and Sarah of the Bible, who in Genesis 16 - 17 decided to take matters into their own hands because they feared God was a little behind time with the promised heir.  The amazing repercussions of that action brought about by fear is evidenced by the Middle East upheavals even today.  My point is fear exists at the absence of love, and by love I mean spiritual love that comes from trust in God.

It is a little tricky to try to define fear.  The English language is sometimes so limited that the use of the same word for various meanings may influence us to use the word so loosely that we misunderstand its importance.  When I have a reverential fear (as we ought to have for God), it is one birthed from respect, a knowledge of who He is; similarly the fear/awareness of the reality of the consequences brought about from making bad decisions, are positive and not to be confused with the fear/anxiety brought on by a threat, often unfounded, of  some unpleasant experience.  I had a fear of drowning that existed from youth well into adulthood.  My fear was so strong that I could feel my body constricting every time I would stand in a swimming pool or in the sea at the beach.  I was extremely nervous when I had to go on a boat or a raft and wasted my afternoons for an entire semester attending swimming lessons while in college.  It was not until I released the fear that I was able to begin to learn and progress as a swimmer or enjoy a boat ride.  Instead of permitting that fear to overpower and control my emotions, I sought and executed the steps that would help me to surmount my barriers.  Certainly thousands have succumbed to the unfortunate fate of drowning, but knowledge of that reality has served to inspire and not prevent me. 

What do you fear?
Why are you afraid?
How can you begin baby stepping towards and over that fear?

Rejection...

rejectdefined

Perhaps next to losing a loved one, rejection is the single most painful reality that we have to deal with.  It is a natural human instinct to feel needed/wanted/appreciated, so when it seems that we're not, it hurts to the core.  That hurt I believe goes beyond a human ego, but instead attacks a person's feeling of self worth. 

What do you do after you've been rejected?

•  Pretend it doesn't matter?
• Crumble in self pity?
• Accept it, cry or sulk for a minute then move on?

Everyone knows what the most practical answer is; but it is not by any means the easiest.  How can I move on when that rejection has highlighted or created insecurities?  Why am I not good enough for him/her?  Why am I not good enough to make the team or be shortlisted for that job interview or get that promotion?  I've been there and asked those very questions.  Nothing is wrong with taking a moment to re assess yourself or make necessary adjustments (we all know that nobody's perfect and we all could use a little tweaking from time to time).  The key to effectively moving on however is realising that if you're a Christian, God is not out to get you and will not hold anything back that is good for you biblegateway.com and if it doesn't happen when/how you want it God has other plans in store for you biblegateway.com.  Cop out?  No!  Reality check?  Yes!  If you're not a Christian then the whole "Let Go, Let God" concept will not make much sense to you, but instead seem mighty stupid.  Before you dismiss it however, really try God (and I don't mean the God somewhere out there in space, but the real personal Jesus Christ) you won't be disappointed (and that's God's guarantee, not mine).

So what's the move forward?  Have you or any of your proposals, job applications or other efforts been rejected lately?  I know all too well how you feel but take a positive spin to it.  Look back at it and see if there is anything that could've been presented better.  If it's just right as it is then it's that person's loss, move on.

Yes you can!

POST IT!

I was in discussion with some friends recently about how public this era has become.  Every person deems him/herself to be the star of their own reality show and this is facilitated by the numerous social media available to these "no name" stars.

If I'm walking down the street and something unusual happens, my first instinct is to grab my smartphone and post it.  I got my first cell phone twelve years ago after I'd left college, now if I leave home and somehow forgot to bring it with me I return home for it, and if I can't return home I experience ridiculous feelings of anxiety until I'm reunited with my phone.  Have I gone crazy?!  There are many people whose feelings, wardrobe, menu etc I am aware of every minute of the day all because they are busy posting and I'm busy following their posts. 

The tag line often used is that we are in the information age, but are we acquiring useful information?  I know I have had to check myself recently because I have become too addicted to this kind of life, I fear that if I'm not careful God'll have to read my posts to hear what I'm feeling, for though he can already read my thoughts and emotions I do not utter them to Him.  My first thought upon waking is too often "update my status and see what everyone else is saying".

There's nothing wrong with been tech savvy, sharing information or wanting to be aware of what is happening in the world around you; but balance (there goes my new favourite word again) is crucial to healthy living.  In another setting the Apostle Paul warned against doing something merely because it was not wrong biblegateway.com and the same principle can be applied when dealing with our information craved society. 

Check yourself:

• Is your social media page the first n last thing on your mind everyday? 
• Do you have "friends" on your page whom you don't even recognise if you see them in the street? 
• Will God need to send you a friend request in order to know your daily thoughts and experiences? (unless of course He read your mind)