Japan Chronicles: Honeymoon

The honeymoon phase  is a term that has come to be popularly understood as that early stage when everything is basically perfect and none of the parties involved are expressing any disappointment/dissatisfaction.  Now I've never been married so I'll quickly disclaim authority on this subject by acknowledging the next couple of sentences as sheer conjecture based on what more supposedly learned (please pronounce learn-ed) ones have said.

sunshine & rainbows = absolute purrrfection

In this stage, assumedly the first 6 months to a year of the marriage, things are basically fresh.  In many instances the couple is still learning about each other.  Although some may have lived together before and known much of what there is to know about the other, there is that newness of being 'Mrs So n So' or having to say 'my wife'.  For most, nothing can go wrong in these early days, or if something goes a tad off target, it's quickly resolved because all is sunshine and rainbows. 

Of course the term is not only used for nuptials and can perhaps be in reference to anything new, so technically I'm in the last stages of my new country/ new job honeymoon.  Call it pessimism, realism or Murphy's lawism; but I've often been one of those guilty of wondering 'when?'  When will all the good vibes and fun times end?  I can't keep track of all the negative stories I've heard of Asian people in general and Japanese in particular when it comes to their relationships with/attitudes towards foreigners, especially towards those like myself of a melanin rich shade.  And though my heart sobs at some of the stories I've heard, to date I haven't had one such experience.  In fact,  I`ve also lost track of the number of people who, because as soon as they see me they recognise I am a foreigner and might be confused because of the language difference, come up to me and ask if I need help (Like today I was in the convenience store using the photocopier and a man came up to me and asked me, in Japanese, if I was ok and understanding how to use the machine.  After telling him I could and thanking him for his help and he continued on his business, I chuckled because he spoke to me in the same language the machine used lolol).

We know I can't tell if people are speaking badly about me; and if I can't understand I don't count it as an affront - as we say back home "wha yeye nuh si heart nuh leap".   So I'll take the kindness at face value.  I'm also old enough to know that race and nationality don't determine one’s love for people so I know there will come a time when people may be unkind to me (hope I'm ready for it).  

I guess the conclusion here is the honeymoon phase will never last and there's nothing wrong with that.  The end of the honeymoon doesn't translate to divorce, it just means the marriage has gone to a different plane (more conjecture of course).  Here, you learn to accept (maybe grow to love... or ignore) the ugly bits.