The news of the pregnancy of model Yendi Phillips and singer Daniel "Chino" McGreggor has caused outrage in some circles as some persons are astonished by what they term as Yendi's relegation to the "baby mama" status. I'm amused by some of the responses since she's not the first popular person to become pregnant by the man she's currently dating, I therefore don't see why this announcement has caused such a stir. I'm at a loss too as to why so many people would be disappointed. It is interesting how conveniently we view morals. Amidst those who are outraged, none seem to take issue with the fact of the couple's decision to engage in sexual relations despite their not being married (sarcastic voice: after all it's 2012 and nobody really abides by those standards now anyway). It is the pregnancy that has disgusted them... talk about a double standard. What's the problem? They can afford to take care of a kid.
While watching the news recently, I saw a human interest story being broadcast about a woman who is apparently struggling financially because she must raise her five children alone and at the time of the broadcast she had recently lost her job as a domestic helper. Two of the children have mental illnesses and none of the fathers (note plural) are interested in contributing to the well being of their children (and I sure do hope the courts can find and charge them). Though I have heartfelt compassion for this woman's plight, her situation brings me to the crux of my discussion, baby mama status seems to have so many negative connotations/results attached yet it is so common place.
I do not doubt that there are numerous 'baby daddies' who provide the means for their offspring to live healthy lives. Their children are properly housed, clothed, fed and educated (round of applause please) and it would be remiss of me to even suggest that these men do not exist. Nevertheless I continue to marvel at the numbers of deadbeat sperm donors and the negligent women who facilitate them by allowing them to impregnate them and leave (some even doing this to 2, 3, 4 or more women who are sometimes even aware of the man's track record). Needless to say you do have a few deadbeats who are also married to the mother of their children, but that is for another discussion.
My question here is why decide to just be a baby mother? This is not to suggest that you go marry someone so you can have a baby, neither am I suggesting that you must marry someone because of a pregnancy (check out my book lulu.com). Do the people who are not married to each other plan to have children in this, what I term, uncertain status of their relationship? Forgive my ignorance but I'm genuinely curious, have we got to a state in our society where we are comfortable with dismissing some of the basic tenets that God has laid out with regard to the creation of families?
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