Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now

SUB TOPIC: Miss Right vs. Miss Right Now

 

Is the whole "right person" concept a myth?  How about the ancient Greek philosophy of finding your other half?  Is there any truth to that?

My heart literally weeps for the many people I know who have fooled themselves into believing there is that one right person out there somewhere.  This misconception has resulted in them ignoring meaningful possibilities all too hastily dismissing those who in a real sense display the characteristics that they deeply desire.  Worse, are those who believe that dem haffi tek wha dem can get (Jamaican dialect for accepting what's available), and some years ago some imbecile (my opinion) also penned the words "if you can't be with the one you love then love the one you're with", further promoting the fallacy.  These ideas feed us with a sense of hopelessness and make us believe we have no control or part to play in this romantic love experience.  Immediately one might ask "aren't the two opposites of each other?"  Therefore, "if I'm not waiting for my Mr/Miss Right am I not in effect settling for Mr/Miss Right Now?"

 

There is no one person that the universe brings to you and your life is unhappy/incomplete until he/she is found.  With the population size of this planet there are bound to be quite a few people who share similarities despite the disparities of languages and cultures.  In the simplest way possible I'm suggesting to you that when you encounter the right person your experience is going to be different from the way the movies and story books present it.  Mr/Miss Right will not come without flaws (at least not if he/she is human).  They will not have it all together and make your problems disappear.  In fact, that man or woman is only right because you have met someone with whom you share core qualities like a common faith, or goals, or values.  Does that mean you will never have disagreements?  Absolutely not!  It does mean however that the things that pull you together far outweigh those that make you disagree.  Your life will not be perfect, not when we still have those natural selfish tendencies, but it will mean that greater effort is made to put some of these aside  for the sake of that companion's pleasure (is that my idealist voice speaking?).  Some people may have already met their Mr/Miss Right, they just don't realise it yet because they're kinda busy with Mr/Miss Right Now. 

The problem with the Mr and Miss Right Nows is that they fill a temporary void; and if the truth be told, the things that draw you together do not come from any sustainable qualities.  Money, sex, looks, a desire for children, a rebound from a bad experience or a cure for loneliness are a few of the more popular reasons some of us settle for Right Nows in our lives.  We often know beforehand that there is a very short future where these persons are concerned or we hope that in time we can bring them to view things the way we do.  We ignore the fact that the only thing that draws us together is that one thing that can change with the weather.

How do you then avoid going after the right nows instead of holding out for the right man/woman?  Work on you! Andy Stanley asked "are you the person you're looking for is looking for?"  Finding the right person requires that you first become the right person (right person myth).  What are some characteristics in your life that need tweaking?  Some people have been fortunate enough to find that proverbial right one without the hiccups of bad relationship choices, hurray for them.  Others have however had numerous trial and error experiences and often because they were expecting to find their right though they were looking with the wrong kinds of lens.

Many times we are made to believe it's ok to accept that he/she only meets that immediate desire... so what if it doesn't work out?  We'll just find someone who meets that other immediate desire... and so on.  I guarantee that if you ask those persons how that M.O is working for them most will speak to despondence and unfulfillment.  So what are you going to do?

I now pronounce you Mr and Mrs...