Discussions around sex are as intriguing as they are taboo.
The topic is often handled with kid gloves in Christian religious circles. But how sensible is it to tip toe around such a major component of our lives? We must get our heads out of the sand because that elephant in the room is backing us all into a corner.
[Ok no more mixed metaphors #ipromiseLOL]
On a real serious note though, it is ironic that most religious leaders turn beet red [clearly a symbolic reference since black preachers aren't doing a better job at it], while the secular world has practically made it the crux of their industry. From the sale of a car to that of a bottle of juice. #sideEye@icoolDrinkAds There are also movies and music videos #just2nameAfew
Sexual innuendos are daily, commonplace images. Why then do so many of the religious shy away from talking about it - as if it wasn't God who started the sex thing in the first place... There was only one way Adam and Eve could "be fruitful and increase in number" and, spoiler alert, there were no nearby fertility clinics providing artificial insemination services.
I learnt about sex around age eleven or twelve when I was about to hit puberty and my mother gave me a book titled "Teenagers". There was no talk. She didn't say "if you have questions about what you read..." In fact, the book actually focused on the customary puberty changes so the 'sex ed' was actually incidental.
On the sex front, it was a mere factual account of the reproductive elements - doing absolutely nothing to explain the feelings I would develop. My first hard copy of sexually related visuals was somewhere around that time too when some kids had a dirty magazine on the bus. But, it was a different time and the threat of excessive exposure far less imposing compared to the ease of access for post millennials (Google told me they're named Generation Z).
I can only pray that modern parents are not as hush-hush and shame faced because if they don't teach their kids about sex, others will.
On many levels the Bible is pretty clear to me in its position on coitus:
a. Forbidding that between men and women not married to each other
b. Forbidding that between the same sex
c. Forbidding that between humans and animals
d. Forbidding that with a dead body... wait a minute, is this last one actually Biblical? My search yielded no specific condemnation against necrophilia so maybe it falls under the category of what is referred to as "sexual immorality"?
But this preamble has become a ramble. We're here to talk about sex toys.
So where do they fit?
Does the use of such fall into the aforementioned category of sexual immorality? Before you snicker, sneer or snort, think about this:
Hardly anybody hand washes their clothes anymore - we use machines.
We don't walk to the corner store - we drive our cars or call a cab.
Heck, many of us hardly make meals from scratch since there are ready mixes for practically any meal we can think of.
Forming relationships takes time and people are busy. Then, when you consider the demands of marriage which takes work, and money, and the patience of Job to deal with people's issues and unpredictability on a long term basis, it makes you wonder if the sex is worth the trouble. Isn't it less strenuous (and cheaper) to then let Amazon hook you up so that all you have to contend with is Silica gel, bubble wrap and batteries? There's no risk of disease or unplanned pregnancy or infidelity or heartbreak; neither is there sin in the heart since it doesn't even involve looking at and desiring anyone. Besides, I don't have to look far to find real, live examples of marriages between Christian people who after gliding down the aisle are now trudging that lonely road of separation and divorce.
A friend once told me of a talk given by an unmarried Christian woman at her church where the woman revealed that she kept a special cucumber in her freezer for needs that did not involve a salad. In fact, at no time in that woman's use of the cucumber would she have been required to pare it... She found an alternative means of consumption.
Does the person in genuine pursuit of God violently wrestle with sexual urges and desires?
If a Christian finds himself/ herself at the point of such struggles does it speak to their spiritual state?
Should they be concerned that their pursuits in righteousness lack diligence?
Is it that perhaps the problem with sex toys is they are gateway drugs - a path to the actual Biblically condemnable relations? Should the fact that these are modelled to resemble male/female genitalia be an indicator?
On the other hand, could it be that the use of such is subjective and therefore the individual is to be guided by his/her conscience? "All things are lawful but..."
Maybe the answer lies in discovering the intended purpose of sex. Was individual gratification and pleasure ever meant to be one of its purposes (as opposed to being a mere byproduct)? For if the answer to this question is 'no' then the answer to the sinfulness of sex toys is possibly 'yes'.
So why was sex created? Is its role truly multifaceted?
Here are three summations that I can effortlessly make:
1. Clearly for procreation - be fruitful
2. Also for bonding - leave father and mother, cleave
3. And let's not forget physical satisfaction - better to marry than burn with passion
So then Scripture does suggest that gratification is one purpose. BUT, should one seek to benefit from purpose 3 when the bed has not been laid? After all, though Scripture has not said Thou shalt not use sex toys, marriage seems to be the only allowance for devouring sexual passion #ohSnap
But, as if this post isn't long enough already, I haven't even mentioned that, from the standpoint of many religious women, there is a noticeable incongruence in the supply and demand of eligible partners #beNotUnequallyYoked
Maybe I should have titled this post "Bare Questions".
#apologies4TackyPunOverkillLOL
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