I think I'm the girl in that movie. Except for the tattoo of a dragon bit, or having a motorcycle, or the troubled childhood history. Ok maybe I'm really not the girl in that movie, but I do believe I can identify with her on a certain level. Granted, this level is in the last 15 seconds or so of the movie but clearly it resonated rather strongly with me.
Lisbeth believes she has a bit of a 'connection' with Mikael (because of other stuff that happens in the movie), buys him an expensive gift, shows up to present it to him, sees him with his girlfriend, dumps the expensive gift in the nearby dumpster and rides off on her Harley (well I know nothing about motorcycles so I don't know what kind she had, just thought a Harley best fit the picture I aimed to create).
My point however is, I think I can identify with her because I know what unrequited love feels like. And my advice (i.e what I've done) is MOVE ON!
If you watched the movie (if you haven't then it's an ok enough use of two hours. It's a little sexually graphic, but there's not too much of that) then you understand how much of a big deal it is that the girl even considers getting this gift. Sometimes this is what happens. We make major adjustments, step outside of ourselves and our comfort zones and all for naught; but that's sometimes how the cookie crumbles and it's just a reality we have to deal with without making it malign future relationships.
Also, when she tosses the gift I think 'Nooo you've invested so much!' But all of that doesn't truly matter in the grand scheme because if he/she isn't returning your affection, the ultimate loss is catastrophic if you are continuously pouring into something with cavernous holes. Despite the cost of the investment, she ditches it and moves on.
When Mikael is walking down the corridor in the arms of his girlfriend I'm a little annoyed because I'm wondering why he can't see she is in no way right for him (for starters she's married... and my empathy is with Lisbeth anyway so...). The take away from this though is that it doesn't matter. It's not in one's best interest to point out, or even wait for him/her to realise their mistake (then hopefully turn to you). After all you'll still end up playing substitute.
Admittedly my heart tugs just a tad when she puts on her helmet (great safety message) and rides away. That action is the crux of this argument - don't neglet the important things (helmet) because you're heart broken. How often do we allow disappointment to cloud our vision and stifle our growth? Her body language suggests that maybe she says "Oh well, whatever" and this approach is mega hard for most of us. But shrugging it off is going to be the healthiest (and biggest) step in moving on.
This movie was deep on many levels, I've just picked this one...but then maybe all I've said is hogwash and I've created a bunch of stuff from nothing - my students often accused me of doing this in our poetry classes.
That movie should be about 5-6 years old and you remember it so clearly; you must have a thing for Daniel Craig.
ReplyDeleteDon't agree with you though; I think that's a cheap way to get out. It couldn't possibly mean anything if she gave up that easily. It's like expecting the stars to align and make her plans work to the T.
When all the fluff is stripped away, love takes a lot. It's not the utopian context, it's ordinary ppl trying to make sense of it all.
Throwing away the gift is actually a very very emotional thing to do (not healthy). Btw, I didn't watch the movie so this is just random thotz (grin)
The movie was released in 2011 (saw it at Carib back then) but thanks to Netflix... (and I do really have a thing for Daniel Craig tho)
DeleteThe blog does claim to be taking a lighthearted spin on things... Nevertheless while I do agree relationships take gruelling input to get meaningful output, I also do believe there is a point when walking away is the most sensible action.