I wish I gave a @#!￥

In a recent conversation with a fellow foreigner, he responded to my comment about Japanese people's politeness by saying "You know they don't really like you right?  They do it out of duty."

His response made me think of the question, 'If a tree falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?
Random? Maybe... but I promise there's a link... at least I made one.
But to answer: of course it makes a sound - you just don't hear it (because you're not there obviously) therefore the sound does not affect you and you can go on about your life without the worry of noise pollution - the link was a little deeper in my head I swear LOL

My point though is it's really foolish to be concerned whether the random person grinning with you really likes you.  I for one don't walk into a business place looking for love; so if I'm met with feigned pleasantries I'm actually happy.  Having worked briefly in a highy customer service based industry and been a consumer of services all my life, the importance of pleasantries is something that resonates strongly with me.  Nothing gets under my skin like an insufficiently doting service provider. 

In my mind, the ideal service provider should
          *have the smile of the skilled pageant contestant and the awareness of the psychic
          *provide enough non-threatening hovering to let me know of their eagerness to assist, without the presence to suggest they think I'm about to slip something into my purse. 

Do not approach me with a scowl.  If necessary, dig deep and summon that "You are the most important person in my world right now" face.  Yes, I'm one of those types of customers.  In this country, there is an expression that is used by staff every time a customer walks into a business or is passed in the aisle of the business.  Even before I knew what it meant I realised that it was a kind of greeting that was extended to customers and I was annoyed (occasionally to the point of offense) on the very few occasions when I encountered a staff member who didn't say it to me.  It didn't matter that I didn't then know exactly what it means, in my mind it was an affront and I took it personally. #goAheadAndRollYourEyesAtMe

The conversation between my friend and I did however spur me to think about interactions in general.  What exactly is genuine pleasantry?  I don't necessarily like every person with whom I smile during an interaction, but I certainly bear them no ill will.  I am even sometimes not in the mood  and don't feel sociable but proffer a smile regardless. 

But what about the person who's unpleasant because of a personal situation and could use a kind word?  I'm sorry that's a tough one but you're the one at work, take a bathroom break if you need a minute.

Now maybe 'like' wasn't really what my friend meant.  Maybe he wanted to speak to the passive aggressive attitude that I too have noted among many of the natives of my new land of abode.  Here, so as to maintain the chi (harmony), people are slow to express their disagreement with something and would sometimes sooner have you evicted than merely ask you to turn your TV down.  Though that was not the context of our discussion, maybe that's what he was getting at.

In that case I do give a hoot.

#FyaPanBackStabbingCowards

In our conversation though, I simply meant to applaud the seemingly back bending graciousness with which the majority of people serve (and they don't do it for tips as that is not a part of the operations in the businesses here). 

To those people I say
"Thank you for your politeness as you serve. Whether it's genuine or not I don't care.  You can always go in the back and chat bad bout me with your colleagues (heck you can do it standing in front of me... not like mi will feel a way since I have no idea what you're saying)."  As long as you do it with a smile of course.

Naive? Maybe; but for now that's the point of view I'm sticking to.