The one(s) that got away...

Reflection is good

Birthdays and new years bring with them an interesting challenge - the "what have you accomplished over the last year(s)? self actualization assessment.  
Being a new year baby I have a double whammy as, even if I might have tried to ignore that "call to assess" had my special day been any other time of the year, now that everyone is doing assessments (or merely talking about doing them... Many of us know the annoyance (or have been the annoyee) of having to wait longer than usual to access our favourite treadmill (or any other machine for that matter) while our gym is innundated by New Year's resolutionists the first 2 - 4 weeks in January... but I digress), I am compelled to proverbially face the music as the pressure to check one's self is stronger at this time of year than any other.

I'm beginning to realise more forcefully that as one gets older, there is a tendency to become more reflective (at least I have).  Reflection is good.  One just needs to learn to draw a line between identifying the mistakes and learning from them, and transcending into a pit of "what ifs?" and"how I wished".  For example, I know quite a few people who recognised the loves of their lives early on and capitalised on that #cheers2them.  On the flip side there are those who only recognised that a former lover, love interest, person they never gave the time of day, could have been theee one, only after the opportunity had passed and their lives had taken polar directions thus making the realisation too late and by extension useless #insertSadTearyEmoji.

I've reflected and seen my screwups and have sought to learn from them...  

Today, as I scraped the inside of my makeup foundation stick, I reflected on the ones I'd tossed when they'd got to the stage when I would need a spoon like object to extract the product (incidentally better than the one I now used).  How prodigal I'd been!  Now all I often think about are the ones I dumped...all that makeup that got away! 
My makeup rescue package is somewhere in snailmailer space but I trust that sooner or later it'll get here (hopefully before this one runs out lol).  Being as rare a shade as I am in my current place of abode, finding makeup to match my dark chocolate hue has proven impossible so I know that when the replacement comes I must not be so quick to discard it just because it has got to the place where using it is not easy and effortless.

Standing in the Hall of Fame

Nobody notices that which is ordinary... at least not right away.




My favourite puzzles have  always been the ones where you have to spot the difference. Naturally I've had fun times playing a personal mental version in my classes since initially all the students, or rather most of them, looked the same to me.  Eight months in though, I've realised that is definitely far from the truth.  Of course some kids stood out right away.  Those who were louder (or quieter), those who wanted to answer all the questions (or tried to dodge eye contact because they didn't want to answer any question).  There were some who, though the haircuts are chiefly same, tried to add some pizzazz to the way they arranged it; and very soon they became "the one who wears three hair pins" or "the one with two pony tails" (or no ponytail); or "the one without a bang".  There was also "the one with the cushion on his chair" or "the one with the potato chips back pack".  I've eventually come to recognise the differences in most of my students, many still however "disappear" into obscurity.

I always wanted to standout - be well known (on my own terms of course - don't think I want the part of people going through my trash or peeking through my window).  Ironically, I got to come to perhaps the most homogeneous country in the world to be the most different, as being one of a handful of black people in my town gives me some amount of popularity LOL.  I remember meeting a lady and during the conversation she said "I think I saw you once before at the mall...a few months ago".  Now maybe that lady did in fact see me and her memory is great, but I stiffled a laugh at her comment because  what I think she meant is  she'd seen a black woman so it must've been me.
The fact I am Jamaican too is added flavour LOL Wi get nuff ratings ennuh (though I continue to disappoint by not being able to do any of the top things for which Jamaicans are often known - run fast, cook well and dance) #disgrace

Naturally I'd want my fame to stem from something I actually had control of LOL but "we play with the toys the gods give us" (Troy 2004) so until I finally write that best seller, I'm gonna work with being inadvertently famous.  

Still, regardless of popularity (or the lack thereof), we each can choose to be our own biggest fans, for in the grand scheme it doesn't matter if the world doesn't know our names.

"I really don't see race..." psssh

Heck, even Stevie Wonder sees race

"Seeing race" is only about your retina converting light into neural signs that instant message your brain to create visual images, as much as "Netflix and chill" is solely about sharing a big bowl of popcorn and binge watching your favourite series with the current guy/girl interest.

I've always mused about what is meant by those who claim not to "see" race.  My conclusion is that it means being able to recognise someone's ethnic difference without making assumptions about, and judging them by it.  After all, all Asians aren't Martial Arts experts, computer geeks or restaurant proprietors; there are black men who are present and stellar fathers; and white men can jump.  
Of course this doesn't negate the scientific differences that are unique to the various races across the world but it also doesn't justify the superiority or inferiority of any race.

Since the announcement of the relationship and subsequent planned nuptials between royal redhead, Harry and Suits star, Megan Markle, so many have tried to make an issue of the actress' ethnicity.  Of course this means I must weigh in on the race thing with my hyaku en ( ￥１００) worth.

For millennia people have 'seen' race.  Aaron and Miriam in the Bible took issue with their brother because he'd married someone who wasn't one of them, so I'm preeetty sure these attitudes aren't going away any time soon.  But the real thing is, there will always be those people who will take issue no matter what.  I know couples whose families had problems with their partner's country of origin - same race, different country and 'everyone knows that people from (insert country name) are (insert stereotype)'.  I've known of others who took issue with the partner's family/ educational background or financial situation - it's not only about race. 

Race, and by extension, race relations, is quite complex but time and experience always alter our perspectives.  Eight months ago when I moved to Asia I was aghast at how ugly/ridiculous some fashion choices looked.  Yet, a few weeks ago, I - a grown woman in her late 30s - wore visible knee high socks as part of my outfit for work... It doesn't look as silly anymore.  That example (though possibly trivial and not at all about race) highlights that given time and a willingness to put aside one's prejudices on an issue, a new outlook is possible... Having lived my entire life (until a few months ago) in the Caribbean, I've only heard of, read and watched movies about racism.  Though there are complexion prejudices in my country of origin, racism doesn't exist there.  But I have seen what racist perspectives can do and I am quite sympathetic to those who've been victimised because of their race.  Still there are more of US (not racist) than THEM (outright racists) so how about just trying to embrace people regardless of their ethnic origin?

The 'faceless' nature of the internet and living in different countries have taught me an awesome lesson.  I have social media friends of different races whom I've never met. Yet some of the things they say and how they behave, mirror that of people of my own race.  The same goes for many of those I now interact with, I actually think, 
"OMG! that's exactly how (a friend of a different race) would respond!"

I'm not scientifically versed so I won't dwell on this, but as far as I know every race in the world has the same four blood types.  And though there may be differences in the prevalence of a certain type in a particular race, at the end of the day I'm sure there is the possibility that Lacretianique's lifecan be saved by Ching Ho's blood and vice versa. 

People are like a box of chocolates.  There are differences and that's what makes interactions so exciting though sometimes testy.  But the main ingredients are the same.  Nothing's wrong with recognising that physically we look different, it'd be rather dumb to pretend we didn't.  

So I guess what I'm saying is, for me when I see people I see race, it's just called the human race.